I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
