I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
