dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
