So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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