He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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