he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
