This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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