Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
someone owes me an orgasm
Do vagina's smell?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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