apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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