We won't sleep together?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize