Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
