Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
