when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
