I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
