I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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