Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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