69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
