There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sponge bath it is.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize