Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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