Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
