and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
