Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
