in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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