You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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