I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
