When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
