ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
