he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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