I wannas sexs uuuuu
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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