i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
