I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am midnight drunk by noon
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
