Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
