I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
