sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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