Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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