i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she looked like the before picture.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
