Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My liver just had a heart attack.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
