No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
