please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
