I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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