We're facebook friends in real life
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
