Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
