Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my phone needs a breathalizer
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
