I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
