you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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