So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
someone threw a dead crab at me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
