The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
