Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
