i think i have two assholes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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