Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
