is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
