Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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