Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
