i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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