I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
