he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
