How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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