She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have demons in me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
