Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
