I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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