what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
