Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
