Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
