no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
