She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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