I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
