Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This house was built for laser tag.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
