Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
