At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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