his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I want is dick and wine.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
