soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
