Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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