"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
whose parrot is this?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Drunk is not a location!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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