There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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