Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
