Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
