I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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