Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
