drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
